Topic 8 — Networking in tech

Goal: Learn to build relationships that open doors to tech jobs.

Lesson 8.1 — The jobs you never see posted

Teo has applied to thirty-one roles. She knows the number because she keeps a spreadsheet, and the spreadsheet is mostly silence — a few automated rejections, one "we've moved forward with other candidates," and a lot of nothing. Meanwhile Davor, the ex-accountant a step ahead of her, just started as a junior data analyst. When she asked how he found the role, he said something that stopped her cold: "I didn't find it. A guy from a Slack group mentioned his team was hiring and asked if I'd apply."

That role was never on a job board when Davor applied.

This is the hidden job market: a large share of positions are filled through people — referrals, recommendations, a quiet word from someone already inside — often before a listing ever goes public, and sometimes instead of one. Estimates vary, but study after study lands in the same neighborhood: a majority of hires trace back to a connection, not a cold application. In tech especially, networking-based hiring dominates.

Applying to job boards still works. But if it's your only channel, you're fishing in the smallest pond and competing with the largest crowd. The doors that open easiest are the ones a person opens for you.

Lesson 8.2 — Why a referral is worth forty applications

Renske, Brightwell's recruiter, was blunt with Teo over coffee. "When a job goes live, I might get four hundred applicants. I read the referrals first, and honestly, some weeks I barely get past them."

That's the mechanics of a referral: someone inside the company points to your application and says I vouch for this person. Recruiters trust their own employees, so a referred resume skips the slush pile and lands in front of human eyes. The numbers are stark — referred candidates are interviewed and hired at dramatically higher rates than cold applicants, commonly cited as roughly 5–10 times more likely to be hired. One analysis put it this way: a single referral is worth around forty cold applications.

A cold resume has to survive a filter. A referred resume gets read.

For a career-changer, this is the single most important sentence in the topic. Teo's resume, scanned by software looking for "3+ years in product analytics," might never reach Renske at all. A referral routes around that filter entirely — it gets her seen, so the teaching background she's reframed as an asset actually gets a chance to land. The resume that would've been auto-rejected becomes the resume that gets a reply.

Referrals don't come from strangers, though. They come from relationships. Which is the rest of this topic.

Lesson 8.3 — Networking is just being curious about people

Here's the part that makes Teo want to close her laptop: the word networking. It conjures a sweaty handshake, a pasted-on smile, someone cornering a stranger to pitch themselves. She's an introvert who left a classroom of teenagers. The whole thing feels gross.

So reframe it. Networking is building genuine relationships and being curious about people — not pushy self-promotion, and absolutely not begging for jobs. Done sincerely, it's the oldest way humans have ever found opportunities: you talk to people, you learn what they do, some of them remember you when something comes up.

And here's what Teo missed: her people skills are an asset here, not a liability. Eight years of making nervous teenagers feel heard is exactly the skill that makes someone want to talk to her.

The shift is in what you lead with.

• Lead with curiosity, not an ask. Compare two opening messages. "Can you get me a job?" puts a stranger on the hook for your career and gets ignored. "I'm exploring a move into data analytics and really admire the work your team's doing — could I ask you a couple of questions about your path?" is a small, flattering, easy yes. Most people like talking about themselves and helping someone earnest.
• Never open with the job. The fastest way to kill a budding relationship is to make the first message about what you need. The ask, if it ever comes, comes later and naturally.

People can feel the difference between "I'm interested in you" and "I want something from you." Lead with the first.

Lesson 8.4 — The informational interview

Bao, a senior PM at Brightwell, gets a LinkedIn message from a stranger named Teo. It's three sentences: she's moving into product, she saw Bao's talk on edtech onboarding, and she'd love fifteen minutes to hear how Bao got into the field. Bao says yes within the hour. Why? Because it costs almost nothing, and people enjoy telling their story.

That fifteen-minute chat is an informational interview: a short, friendly conversation — usually 15–20 minutes — to learn about someone's role, their path, and what the work is really like. You are not asking for a job. You are not interviewing for anything. You're learning.

It does three things at once. It teaches Teo what the field actually looks like from the inside, far better than any article. It builds a real relationship with Bao. And — crucially — it plants a seed: months later, when a junior role opens, Teo is the curious, well-prepared person Bao already likes. That's how referrals get born. Never by asking for one. By being someone worth referring.

A good informational interview is short, prepared, and grateful. Teo comes with two or three real questions ("What surprised you about the job? What would you look for in someone junior?"), respects the clock, and sends a thank-you after. She does not spring "so... are you hiring?" at minute fourteen. That single move can undo the whole conversation.

Lesson 8.5 — Give first, show up often, and follow up

Davor told Teo his real secret over their weekly check-in, and it wasn't a clever message template. It was this: he'd been useful in that Slack group for months before anyone offered him anything. He answered questions he knew the answers to. He shared a tutorial that had helped him. He congratulated people on new jobs. By the time a role came up, he wasn't a stranger asking for a favor — he was a known, helpful person.

That's give before you take. Relationships are two-way. Engage thoughtfully with people's posts, share something useful, offer help where you can. And when you do reach out, be specific, brief, and grateful — a short, sincere, personalized message beats a long generic one every time. Always thank people. It costs nothing and it's remembered.

Where does all this happen? A few reliable places:

• LinkedIn is the main tool. Connect with a short personal note (never the blank default request), engage with people's content, and request informational chats. Your warmest leads are alumni from your school and former colleagues — shared history makes a yes far easier.
• Online communities — role-specific Slack groups, Discord servers, subreddits, and forums where people swap advice and, like Davor's, sometimes job leads. Join, learn, contribute.
• Events and meetups — tech meetups, webinars, and workshops, in person or virtual, where conversations happen naturally.
• Your existing network — friends, former colleagues, acquaintances. Tell them you're pivoting into tech and exactly what role you want. You don't know who they know.

Two principles make it actually work over time. Consistency: build relationships steadily, before you need them — a network you start when you're desperate is a network that isn't ready. And follow-up: one message is not a relationship. Check back in, share an update, stay lightly in touch. The goal isn't a pile of five hundred contacts. It's a handful of real ones.

Worked example — How Teo turns one chat into a referral

Teo wants a junior product role and decides to stop relying only on her spreadsheet of cold applications.

Week 1. She finds Bao, a PM at Brightwell — an edtech company, which fits her teaching background. She sends a three-sentence LinkedIn note: a specific compliment, her pivot in one line, and a request for fifteen minutes. No job mentioned. Bao says yes.

Week 2. The informational interview. Teo asks what surprised Bao about the job and what Bao looks for in junior hires. She listens, takes notes, respects the twenty minutes, and sends a warm thank-you the same day. Still no ask.

Weeks 3–8. She gives before she takes. She comments thoughtfully when Bao posts about onboarding, shares an edtech article Bao might like, and stays lightly in touch. She does the same in a product Slack community — answering what she can, never lurking only to take.

Week 10. Brightwell opens an associate PM role. Bao remembers the curious, prepared ex-teacher and offers to refer her. Renske, the recruiter, reads referrals first — so Teo's application skips the filter that would've auto-rejected "no PM experience" and lands in front of a human. She gets the screen.

Same person, same resume. One real relationship moved her from invisible to interviewing. That is the entire point of networking.